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Why? I did it because for most gay men there is no other viable option. Shit, I didn’t even feel comfrotable meeting someone off Grindr in a bar or a public space, but I did it.
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I never felt comfortable showing up at a strangers house for a hookup, but I did it. Meeting someone at a bar, talking for hours, playing pool, creates a feeling of intimacy that puts you at ease, your intuition fully vigilant, being able to judge how safe you feel with someone before leaving the bar with them. Even from a friends with benefits situation, I need to know you on some deeper level, feel comfortable enough around you, before we ever initiate a anything remotely sexual. That’s always a great reward, but I always have needed more than that. I was not there solely to find good dick or plump booty. I think thats why using apps like Grindr never worked for me to well. I enjoy my solitutde and peace of mind on the daily but I thrive and live off of the deep connections I do keep with the special people within my life. I would say I am an introvert with some extroverted tendencies. You are left with just pictures and words on a screen that paint a picture.Īnd pictures and words can be about real events, but more often than not, the narratives are fiction. I just accepted that as the way things were now.īut I learned the hard way what is missing in these digital interactions and hours of scrolling and notifications: body language, demeanor, energy transfers.Ī whole intuitional knowledge of the person you are interacting with. Now many of us don’t even have to leave our couch to snag a date or more accurately a hookup, or whatever. There was something to be said, more than something, everything to be said about going to a gay bar with your friends and meeting someone new. Or I vaguely recall it but can’t imagine how we navigated it or how we could go back. I don’t remember a life before hook-up apps and social media.
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There’s still a handful of stalwarts, but mostly it’s a series friend requests, short pithy instant messages, and posts. When you’re young everything and everyone is new and exciting and the time and opportunities for those friendships to develop seems to grow thinner like oxygen as you ascend a mountain as you age. I realized as you get older, you don’t meet people like you used to. I also can say with increasing certainty the world I remember from my childhood and early teens seems to be moving farther away as the days and years go by.